Why me?

Ya Allah, thank you for everything that You gave into my life...I am so lucky married with him.  Yesterday I was angry to him because of his smoking habit and I talked less to him.  He got stress and I only gave him another stress.  In the morning he went out without any word to me and he back again at noon and asked my advice about his new visa. It surprised me and I blame myself for didn't pay attention when he talked about his new visa last time...he couldn't extended and must be go out from country.  we discussed and I told him to make it sure for everything before he decided.  At that moment I was so sad and feel terrible because he gave me money, 100 $ from H. Halim for his new visa so he can go to border tomorrow.  Ya Rabb, I know it all happen because of You...all is Your plans...still I am only human that have weakness. Please forgive me for not being gratitude and asked: why us?.  It's never been easy to accepted when people's help...indeed I need it.

He didn't came back to home until maghrib and I began worried, I only pray and ask Allah to help and protect my husband.  After Isya, he came home and brought some food for dinner.  He talked a lot about his experiences during the day and he said that he learn something.  He said the most important is: " I learn that I love you more and I want to married with you forever, I am lucky because I married you".  Ya Allah...I was melted by his words and forgot all the anger and nothing I could say...I only smile :-)

After that he gave me another money, 75 $ from another friend.  I accepted and my mind only have one thing: its amazing how Allah working for our life.  The feeling was different when I accepted the first 100 $, this time I feel more gratitude and no rejection.  It could be happen because I read broadcast from Sekolah Pernikahan.  I understand that sometime we should accepted when other people help us and let them help, it all will be in turn someday and somehow.  We mostly ask to Allah "WHY ME?" when we in the sad or bad situation...but we never ask the same when Allah give us good thing and happiness.  Yes, we should ask "WHY ME" when Allah give good thing...what I've done so Allah bless me...what make me decent to have it? I learn that both need a big heart to be the receiver and the giver..both need to be sincere at the same time so everyone will be happy.

Maybe this is the way that Allah answer my pray...when I asked Allah for help and make it easy for us...the answer came in the presence of friends and their help.  Ya Allah...please give us the big heart that we can always gratitude to You and enrich us in our marriage.  So, tomorrow we are going to border Poipet-Thailand to get new visa.  I hope everything will be fine and May Allah help us and protect us always.